Tuesday, April 19, 2011

8:30pm – he did it his way

I went home at 5pm intending to stay there till 8 or 9pm but and put some spicy fries to bake while I had a shower so we could have roasted chicken for dinner. By the time I got dressed again, I packed my dinner and some paneer curry and roti for Karran and came back to the hospice to have dinner with him. I felt bad that I would go home and eat and he’d have to wait till he got home at 9pm. Mom and Bena came home just as I got home so they unpacked a few things that they brought over from her home.

Bena and Sophie are going to have dinner at Sophie’s house and they came back to the hospice at 7:30pm. Sharm arrived at the same time. Sophie brought her jewellery kit so the3 of them are making jewellery. Karran said a prayer and lit his dia with his Hanoman and Ganesh murtis. We are all trying to carry on normal conversations but it’s hard with Dad sounding like he is drowning in the background.

I decided that I would leave at 8:00pm and just as I picked up my computer to leave, he opened his eye and looked at me and he started flailing his arms as if to tell me not to go. I called the nurse and she gave him some meds. I think at 8:30pm, the four of us collectively realized that he was not breathing so we all jumped up at the same time and went over to the bed. He stopped breathing. There was no struggle, no flailing, no gasping for breath, no nothing but silence. He did it his way. His son said a last prayer for him. His daughters and granddaughter were all perfumed and surrounding him and he just stopped breathing as quietly as ever. He is gone and the world will be a better place because he lived....

The lyrics of Frankie's song are quite fitting.  Please read the whole thing and tell me if that doesn't sound like Dad and how he lived his life. 

And now the end is here 
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain
I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me

I did it my way
For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way
Yes it was my way


1 comment:

  1. My dear cousin,
    I;m following your blog all the way,my deepest sympathy to the whole family.
    Now as you all prepare for the final rites for your dad i pray that god grant you all patience and love at this time.
    sorry me or my mom can't be there with you but maybe sometime later mom will visit.
    Take care of your mom as you always do.


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