It’s now mid afternoon and things are progressing. Bena, Sophie, Kelsey and Mom left about 1:00pm as there is still stuff to be packed at her home. Karran and I are still here. Dad’s skin is starting to change colour – more purple/red. His breathing is more laboured and it sounds very congested. We all spent some time with him saying our goodbyes as a family together. It’s very emotional to listen to my siblings reminding dad about the ways he was a good father. After all is said and done, through good and bad, hardships and joys, his children were all by his side today forgiving and asking for forgiveness for whatever we may have done to disappoint him. If you talk to him though, he’ll tell you how proud he is of his children and grandchildren and how much they mean to him. That love is evident today – returned to him to take to a greater place.
The nurses have been coming in to give him meds and change his dressing. They are really amazing. I know I said that already, but it bears saying again and again. They are now concerned with making him feel comfortable but they also explained that he is not feeling hunger and thirst the way you might if you didn’t eat for a day. I am feeling hunger and thirst though. I picked up breakfast for all of us and Kelsey brought lunch. Karran eats vegetarian on Tuesdays so we all had veggie subs but they were delicious because I didn’t have to worry about that meal.
Nurses Gaye and Linda were trying to suction the congestion from his lungs but it’s too deep so it probably will cause him some distress. It’s a complicated feeling for me right now – hard to watch my father die and hard to go to sleep because I have been up for more than 33 hours. I don’t feel tired but I know that at some point, it will catch up to me.
I have no direct internet access from the hospice so I have to go out on the street where I’ve managed to pick up a wireless network so that I can update my posts periodically. Another update will follow when I can do it.